


Luthor's Revenge (The Joker Must Die)

by Randomideaguy



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Demonic Deal, Gen, Lex has a kid, The Joker must die, eventual harlivy, it doesn't end well, reality ensues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-01-08 07:05:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12249396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomideaguy/pseuds/Randomideaguy
Summary: A tale of the lengths a father would go to revenge. And a clown receiving a comeuppance decades in the making.





	1. Action!

It was an accident, really. Lex had been in the middle of business deal when he heard that Metropolis. His city was crumbling. The news was a bit vague on what was going on - two figures seemed to be “flying” (as if that was possible) over the city punching each other through buildings. 

Some thought it was related to the strange message that had been broadcast over the televisions a few days ago declaring “bring me Kal-El”. Lex had thought it was a hoax. But when his plane arrived in Metropolis Bay, and he saw the city crumbling? It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t a joke. 

Lex had gone on autopilot at that point - he needed to go to his building, to be in his office. In a time where he felt most powerless, he wanted to be in the one place he felt most powerful. Behind his desk overlooking the entire city. 

It was because of this that he began running - running towards the action, the rubble, the smoke even while people ran away. It’s why he picked up his phone and ordered all of his personal choppers to start evacuating refugees from the action. 

As the destruction mounted, Lex simply knew it was a matter of time before his own building came crashing down. But he had to see it one last time. It was just an accident that he bumped into her. A piece of the remains of his building came crashing down - right towards a scared and crying little girl. 

He scooped her up moments before the rubble crushed and killed her; came out the other side and congregated towards a few roaming survivors. He had meant to find her mother or father, but as the titanic fight above the city seemed to finally stop he once again lost himself, staring at the rubble of his once proud building. 

He didn’t come to until a random journalist - some redheaded number from the Daily Planet - flashed a camera in his face and held up her cell phone to take his statement. He blinked a few times, coming to and turning around while holding the girl still in his arms. She had cried herself out and was now passed out quietly in his arms. The weight of her, it was nice. 

“Mr. Luthor; what do you think of this destruction?” The woman asked. Lex narrowed his eyes, staring up at the sky. Looking for the perpetrator. The man in blue. The man he would kill. He turned back to the camera, all seriousness. 

“I think whoever did this needs to be held accountable for his actions.” He said quickly. A few people nearby mumbled positive responses to this. 

“Do you think the city can ever recover?” The woman asked. His brain finally started turning again; thinking of the public relations boon this might be. He held back a soft smile. 

“It can, and I’m going to do everything I can to help. This city built me into the man I am today. And I promise you, I will return the favor.” He said boldly. The girl in his arms slowly started to wake up. He walked towards the reporter, who was trying to move on to interview a few more “survivors”. 

“Can you help me find this girl’s mother?” He asked honestly. 

* * *

The girl’s name was Emily and as it would turn out her mother had been a janitor at his building. She had been crushed immediately in the basement floor break room for the help, a place that had seen its fair share of unsafe work environment lawsuits. That hadn’t mattered when the city came crumbling down. 

Lex had never been a child person; he most often found them obnoxious and dirty. But something about Emily appealed to him. Once she was back to talking, he found her quite precocious. She soon picked up on a lot of his more sarcastic habits. Better yet, he found her bright young mind fascinating - she was able to understand complex concepts that Lex had to spend years as a child understanding. 

It was because of this that he tried to ignore her traits that were more typical of her age. Or at least not let them bother him so much. He indulged her love of the color pink and ballet for a time, but he equally tried to interest her in the sciences and point her in the direction such great minds as Curie, Lovelace, and Joliot. 

She soon learned not to bother him when he was in meetings, preferring to instead be entertained by his bodyguard Mercy. While Ms. Graves was certainly not a child person either, the astronomical amount of money he was paying her (more than any bodyguard should make) made her amenable to the idea. 

That’s why it was so strange when one night she knocked on the door to his private conference room, where he was meeting with a rather detestable man. 

“I can’t do it, man. She’s just a kind woman.” John Corben said, sitting across the table from him. Lex rolled his eyes at the other man’s cowardice. 

“She’s cavorting with that demon.” Lex replied, scowling. Corben shook his head. 

“She’s a non-combatant. It wouldn’t be right. It’s not what I signed up for, you know?” Corben replied, running hand through his hair nervously. Lex sighed. 

“I know you didn’t sign up to have your legs crushed in the Metropolis attack,” Lex shot back fiercely, causing Corben to look down. 

“I can’t.” Corben replied. Lex leaned back in his chair, clenching and unclenching his jaw in frustration. 

“If you can’t do the job, then maybe I need to give someone else the tools to do it.” Lex said. Corben looked up at him, mouth slightly agape. 

“I - you said these were a gift -” He motioned to the mechanical attachments that protruded from the stumps that used to be his legs. Lex nodded. 

“They are gifts, and to whom much is given much is required.” Lex responded. Corben frowned now. 

“Don’t use my religion against me,” Corben said. Lex just laughed bitterly in response. That was when the knock came. 

“Daddy?” Emily peaked her head into the room. Lex spun around quickly; from the way Emily stared at him, his face must’ve been contorted in a quiet rage. Whether from her interruption or Corben’s cowardice, it didn’t matter. He forced himself to calm down. 

“Yes, Emily. What is it? I’m in a meeting right now.” Lex replied. Emily looked down, suddenly too nervous to speak. Lex sighed, standing up from his chair and walking over to pick her up. She was already becoming a bit too old for this, but it didn’t matter right now. 

“I’m not mad at you, dear. Tell me what’s wrong.” Lex said, completely ignoring the dumbfounded Corben sitting across the table. 

“I had a nightmare. I can’t sleep.” Emily said. Lex smiled. 

“Nightmares are just a part of how your brain processes the events. You’re in control of everything that happens to you in them. Did you try to fight back?” Lex asked. Emily shrugged. 

“No…” She looked down again. Lex sighed, setting her down. 

“I’ll watch over you tonight; okay?” Lex said as he slowly led Emily by hand to the door. He ushered her out, but paused at the threshold as she gripped his hand tightly. He turned to Corben. 

“Get the job done, Corben. Or I’ll find someone who can. Now get out of my office.” Lex said as he shut the door behind him. 

“Who was that?” Emily asked, suddenly excited as she skipped down the hallway with her father. Lex just smiled. 

“Just a friend.” 

* * * 

Lex’s friends had an annoying habit of getting him into trouble he shouldn’t be in. At least, that’s what he thought as he calmly lounged on the poor excuse for a bed in his cell at Stryker’s Island. A fit of cowardice, perhaps a lack of foresight on his part. 

He would be out in no time. His lawyer (whom he paid quite a sum to) was working tirelessly to prove to that this “Bizarro” was a genetic mutant that Lex had no awareness of and was created entirely by his project lead in an attempt to gain some publicity. 

Lex was annoyed, both by Bizarro’s failure to deal with Superman and with the Man of Steel’s foolish play to lock him up. Mr. Kent’s “evidence” was just a side factor, easily proven circumstantial. 

“Mr. Luthor? You have a visitor.” The guard (already in pocket, of course) informed Lex moments before a man in a bowler hat strode into view. Lex leaned back, smiling widely. 

“Mr. Kent. I must say I’m impressed - I didn’t take you as the type to gloat.” Lex said boldly, leaning forward to look the reporter directly in the eyes. Clark sighed, taking his hat off and holding it with both hands. 

“Not here to gloat, Mr. Luthor. Just heard you were having some trouble and thought I could help.” Clark said calmly, he motioned down the hall. 

“Emily is waiting for you down there.” Clark said simply. Lex paused, going through tremendous effort to keep his face neutral. He leaned back. 

“You’re lying, they said she couldn’t visit me here. I already pulled all the strings I could.” Lex said bitterly, looking down at his hands now. Clark nodded, shrugging. 

“You’re not the only one with friends, Mr. Luthor.” Clark replied. Lex smiled, standing up now and walking slowly towards the bars of his cell. 

“I’m a businessman, Mr. Kent. What’s the catch? Why would you do this for me?” Lex asked, seriously now. Clark chuckled at this, momentarily cleaning his glasses - he looked familiar for some reason. 

“If I was interested in making money, do you honestly think I would be working for a newspaper?” Clark replied with a chuckle, returning the glasses to his face, “No, I brought Emily because I think you should see her. From all I’ve been able to gather, you’re a wonderful father.” Clark paused, leaning against a nearby wall with his hands in his pockets. He looked utterly carefree except for the pained look on his face. 

“First time I really took notice of you was after General Zod and Superman fought over Metropolis. You were holding Emily -” Clark motioned down the hall, “And promising to help the city. That’s the Lex I noticed. The Lex everyone believed in.” 

Lex frowned, sitting down on his concrete slab of a bed again. He steepled his hands, staring at Clark, calculating. An awkward silence followed as the two men stared at each other. 

“Are you done?” Lex finally asked. Clark sighed, looking down and nodding. He motioned to someone that Lex couldn’t see. Light filled the hallway as a door farther down opened. Almost immediately Lex picked up on the calming tones of his daughter Emily as she skipped down the hallway. 

Clark was moving to leave when Lex reached out of the cell bars and grabbed him by the wrist. Clark spun on his surprisingly fast, eyebrow raised. Lex forced back tears. 

“Thank you,” He forced out, with much effort. Clark smiled, nodding and mumbling something in response as he freed his hand and finally made his way out of the prison. 

“Emily!” Lex called out to his daughter as she skipped up to his cell, working over a lollipop and holding the hand of Lex’s trusted bodyguard Mercy Graves. 

“Hey dad!” She said quickly. Lex got down on his haunches, smiling at her as he held her hand. 

“Hi dear, how are you?” Lex asked. Emily seemed to mull over the question for a moment. 

“Well, first I woke up and watched some of the news - but Ms. Graves made me turn it off when they started talking about you. Then I watched some cartoons, Ms. Graves made me breakfast, then we went to the park and flyed my kite, then we went to the science museum, then Mr. Kent bought me some candy, and Dad when are you going to come home?” Her tale shifted so quickly that Lex was taken aback for a moment. He sputtered for words for a moment, leaving a gap for his bright eyed young ward to plow forward. 

“They said on the news that you had violated laws on genetic engineering, but I went into your library while Mercy was making my lunch and I read -” She beamed with pride now, “That they only regulate the engineering of human and animal tissue, and since this new guy seems like he’s based off of Superman, and since you told me Superman is an alien, you actually didn’t break any laws. So I don’t understand why they’ve locked you up in here. It’s not fair!” Emily finally finished her little tirade, leaving Lex smiling. He exchanged a look with Mercy, then back at Emily. 

“You’re right, Emily. Everything you’ve said is correct and I’m extremely proud of you for figuring it out.” Lex paused, gathering himself, “But I didn’t do those things they accused me of. So none of that other stuff matters. I’ve got my lawyers working overtime to get me out of here.” Emily sighed, looking down. 

“But how much longer do we have to wait? My science project is due next week and you said you’d help me!” Emily pouted. Lex chuckled, making her look up at him. 

“You’ve got everything you need to do it yourself, Emily. But I promise you, I’ll be home this weekend and we can finish it up. Does that sound like a deal?” Lex asked. Emily smiled widely. Lex wished he could hug her. He sat down finally, cross-legged. 

“Now, tell me how your school has been going.” 

* * * 

As Emily aged, Lex was able to take more foreign trips, leaving her with the run of the house. This became especially helpful when he made the landmark discovery of Kryptonite. Though he had yet to be fully recognized for the discovery, he nonetheless went to great efforts to find every scrap of the alien rock wherever it appeared on the planet. 

That’s why he was in India, overseeing a particularly difficult dig. They had encountered some difficulties in the drill, so Lex had flown over to personally retrofit the drill with a new laser he had invented on the flight over. He had been weary to go - unlike the other times he left, Emily was not actually at home but on a field trip. 

Her natural intelligence had made it quite easy to get her into a local science magnet; Lex was proud to say that she was among some of the smartest children in the nation. He knew that one day she would surpass even him, and she was perhaps the only person who could do so without making Lex severely uncomfortable. 

That’s why she was in Gotham City. An impoverished hell hole, to be sure, but it’s old and unwavering Gothic architecture was of interest to her engineering class - she was to write a paper about what parts of the building material helped the buildings stay up so longer, versus some Metropolis skyscrapers that needed to be periodically repaired every couple of years. Although the latter might have more to do with the corners Lex had cut in his widespread rebuild of the city. 

He had intended to keep a close watch on her during her trip, of course in such a way that she didn’t notice - he always wanted her to rely on her own inner strength before coming to him. Not that he wouldn’t help. He would’ve done anything for Emily. He did everything for Emily, or at least that’s what he liked to think. 

But his “special business” was important, almost as important as her. And he trusted her. That’s why he reluctantly got on the flight to the Indian dig site, half a world away from where his daughter was traveling into one of the most dangerous cities in the world. 

He had been in his temporary office when the call came. It was from Mercy. He soon forgot what she had said, specifically, because what she said affected him so. The phone fell from his hands moments after he picked it up, the screen bringing up a newsflash that confirmed what she had just told him :

“Latest Joker bombing affects school bus of children, possibly fatal”. Just seconds later, there was a knock on his window. Lex ignored it, sitting down at his desk and staring at the wall. The window creaked, the lock breaking in two as someone lifted it up and stepped inside the office. Lex simply stared past that red and blue suit that he hated so much. 

“Lex, I -” Superman trailed off, looking down at the phone, “You already heard.” He approached Lex, perhaps debating whether or not to place a hand on his shoulder. Lex was glad he didn’t. 

“I just heard. I’m so sorry.” Superman began, Lex finally seemed to awaken, his eyes shifting towards the Man of Steel, “I can fly you to Gotham in minutes and you can see her.” Lex jumped from his chair, socking Superman right in the jaw. It felt like hitting a brick wall. 

Had Lex been in a different frame of mind, he would’ve been aware of his broken fingers - or the fact that Superman could’ve easily dodged the blow. Superman sighed, looking down and backing away. 

“I’ll leave you alone. Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Superman said as he neared the window where he had entered. Lex slowly felt himself gathering his confident facade back. 

“Drop dead.” He said dryly, stalking across the temporary office. He slammed the door behind him, not waiting to see if Superman his way out. He was already thinking ahead, looking down at his phone and texting his pilot. 

“Fire up the engines. We’re heading to Gotham ASAP.”


	2. Detective

**Luthor's Revenge  
Part Two : Detective.   
  
**“He’s gone too far this time, I’m telling you. The Bat will snap!” Oswald Cobblepot whispered quietly to the redhead sitting next to him.   
  
“Don’t you think he already has snapped?” Edward queried as he shrugged and absentmindedly played with the Chinese finger trap in his hands.   
  
“If losing one of his little ‘Robins’ didn’t lead him to snap, I don’t see why a bus full of Metropolis kids would be any worse for him.” Victor Fries joined in from his spot across the table.   
  
“Unless he’s the one that called this meeting, maybe he wants to draw the Clown out?” Jonathan Crane offered. The foursome turned their eyes briefly to Catwoman, who was absentmindedly filing her nails at the head of the table. She shrugged.   
  
“Probably not a trap.” She said noncommittally, reaching out and grabbing Harvey Dent’s coin from the air. She handed it back to him, face up.   
  
“It landed like that, I promise.” She said in response to his angry glare.   
  
“You think the Clown called?” Oswald asked nervously.   
  
“He better not have. Some of my lackeys died in that attack.” Roman Sionis butted in, arms crossed as he sat at the head of the table. Ivy just chuckled in response.   
  
“Oh, boo hoo.” She replied. Roman shrugged.   
  
“Alright, alright, they had a drug shipment on them. Probably locked up in GCPD’s evidence locker now, though.” Roman replied sourly, “Lots of money left on the table because of that clown.” At this everyone grumbled a general affirmative. They all turned at the sound of the door to their warehouse base opening up.   
  
“Hello, I’m glad you could all make it.” The shadowed figure said as they strode through forward, eclipsed by the light coming from the docks outside. The figure soon coalesced into the familiar form of Lex Luthor. He was followed close behind by a fierce looking blonde woman in a suit.   
  
“I’m sure you can guess why I called you here.”   
  
* * *  
  
“So he put a hit out on the Joker? You’re sure it was him?” Batman asked.   
  
“In the flesh,” Catwoman said with a nod, “Can’t say I blame him. I’ve wanted to do it myself a time or two.” Batman grumbled, walking to the edge of the roof where he could overlook the city.   
  
“No one is killing anyone.” Batman replied. Catwoman followed behind him.   
  
“ _You’re_  not killing anyone.” She corrected him. Batman cast her an angered look.   
  
“My city, my rules.” He replied. Catwoman sighed, raising her hands in mock surrender.   
  
“I guess I’m helping you, then.” She said with a smile as she sashayed over to him, running a finger across his chest, “Assuming, of course, there’s something in it for me.” Batman’s expression didn’t falter as he stared at her.   
  
“What did you have in mind?”  
  
* * *  
  
“And so he said, but Doctor! I am Pagliacci! HAHAHAHA!” The Joker cackled as he stood over the beaten form of one of Gotham’s finest. There was a soft knock at the door that went unnoticed by the insane clown. The Joker frowned, crossing his arms.   
  
“Why aren’t you laughing!?” He said with a growl as he brought his baseball bat down onto the officer’s arm. There was crunching sound followed by a quiet whimper.   
  
“Go… fuck… yourself…” The officer managed to mumble. A white faced man slowly crept into the room, sweating buckets out of nervousness.   
  
“What is it Tweedledum!?” The Joker asked without turning to look at the henchman.   
  
“Uh, I - uh - actually - my name is, uh -” Tweedledee tried to spit out, but paused as the Joker turned to glare at him. The henchman reluctantly gestured towards the door, hoping to get the attention off of him. At the doorway, a plump man waddled in. The Joker dropped his bat, yelling giddily.   
  
“Ozzie wozzie! Long time now see, old chum!” The Joker crossed the room to give the rather surprised Oswald Cobblepot a big hug. He turned back to his henchman and stalked past him to kick the baseball bat, which the beaten police officer had nearly grabbed.   
  
“Finish teaching this chump a sense of humor, would ya?” He asked as he turned and escorted Mr. Cobblepot out of the room as Tweedledee eagerly picked up the discarded bat. Oswald forced down a shiver, not wanting to show weakness in front of the insane clown. He adopted an amiable smile.   
  
“Joker, how long have we known each other?” Oswald asked as they made their way into a car room that looked straight out of Vegas. Harley Quinn was passed out in the corner, snuggling with the Joker’s two hyenas.   
  
The Joker lounged at the head chair, producing a glass with strange liquid and drinking out of a silly straw. He offered an identical one to the Penguin, which Oswald turned down promptly. The Joker shrugged, returning to sipping loudly out of his own glass.   
  
“If you’ve come to ask a favor, get to the punchline old Ozzie. I’ve got a full schedule of jokes today.” The Joker finally said impatiently as he made a circulation motion with his white gloved hand. Oswald swallowed, steeling himself for the impossible.  
  
“Well, I just thought - since we’re good friends and all, I would come and tell you - someone’s put a hit out on you.” Oswald said. There was a pause, made all the more awkward as the Joker suddenly stopped sipping on his silly straw. Harley yawned as she sat up in the corner.   
  
“Honey, did you hear that?” The Joker asked, turning to his assistant. Harley hopped up, instantly becoming her normal bubbly self.   
  
“Every word, baby cakes!” She said with a hand on her hip, “I say let ‘em come!” She said. The Joker grumbled, pulling out a sticky note and dramatically crossing off a few items.   
  
“Well, there goes the fish joke. I’ll have to clear my schedule for this one.” The Joker said before crumpling up the paper and tossing it into his drink - which he then took an extra sip out of for good measure. The clown duo turned to the plump man sitting across from them.   
  
“Is it Batsy? Tell me it’s Batsy!” The Joker said maniacally as he leaned over the table to get into Oswald’s (admittedly very large) personal bubble. Oswald gulped, tugging at his collar.   
  
“N-no word as to who’s done it, but the sum is pretty large.” Oswald said. The Joker shrugged in response, leaning back and producing a gun from his jacket.   
  
Oswald tensed up as the Joker pointed the weapon at Oswald, before turning it towards the ceiling and pulling the trigger. A flag reading “BANG!” came out of the barrel, complete with confetti. The Joker grinned, turning to Harley.   
  
“Harley baby? Gather the boys. Looks like someone wants a show from us.” The Joker said with a leer. Harley grinned, bouncing out of the room. Oswald coughed quietly, hiding a smirk.   
  
“So - what’s your plan?”   
  
* * *  
  
Today 10:46 PM   
  
BoyWonder : So… just heard that Lex is putting a bounty on Joker’s head.   
  
JayBirb : Good!   
  
SonOfBat : Good!  
  
Oracle : Good!   
  
SonOfBat : Shut up, Todd!  
  
JayBirb : **Shut up, Todd!**  
  
SonOfBat : Stop copying me!   
  
Oracle : Both of you shut up!   
  
PrettyInPurple : You think he could add Sionis to the list?   
  
PrettyInPurple : [“This is fine” meme]  
  
PrettyInPurple : Sorry, Cass grabbed my phone. Point still stands.   
  
BoyWonder : We’re going to help Bruce catch both of them.   
  
Oracle : Tim, use the group chat!  
  
SonOfBat : This is why you don’t buy Samsung, Drake.   
  
SonOfBat : That was a very colorful wordplay, I’m impressed.   
  
JayBirb : I love it when Tim curses! Send me a screenshot!  
  
PrettyInPurple : I’d be interested, too.   
  
Oracle : Guys, FOCUS!   
  
BoyWonder : What Babs said, we need all hands on deck for this one. Lex has recruited most of the villains in the city.   
  
JayBirb : Even the Condiment King?  
  
BoyWonder : Of course not him!   
  
PrettyInPurple : [“Willy Wonka” meme making fun of Condiment King]   
  
BoyWonder : Now, since it’s Lex I’ve already called in the Big Guns.   
  
SonOfBat : Batcow?   
  
JayBirb : Drake, you’re still not using the group chat.   
  
Oracle : I think he means Superman.   
  
BoyWonder : Yes, I do. I’ll be patrolling Metropolis while he switches over to Gotham for the night.   
  
Oracle : I’ll send Dinah and Helena to back you up.   
  
BoyWonder : Thanks, Babs. Steph, you and Cass be ready for whatever the Joker’s got planned. There will probably be lots of hostages and we’ll need you two to get them out.   
  
PrettyInPurple : [“You Got It, Dude” Full House meme]  
  
JayBirb : I guess this means I should “distract” Talia, then.   
  
PrettyInPurple : [Throw up emoji]  
  
SonOfBat : Vile.   
  
Oracle : Ew!   
  
BoyWonder : Sure, whatever. Just stay out of town and don’t do anything stupid.   
  
JayBirb : Business as usual, then!   
  
* JayBirb has left the group chat *   
  
BoyWonder : Damian, you stick close to dad. He’ll need all the back up he can get, tonight.   
  
SonOfBat : On it.  
  
* PrettyInPurple has left the group chat *  
  
BoyWonder : Tim, USE THE GROUP CHAT. Also be ready to back up Bruce. Babs, use your discretion, I trust you.   
  
Oracle : On it, Dick.   
  
* SonOfBat has left the group chat *   
  
* Oracle has left the group chat *   
  
* N3rds@reC0ol has joined the group chat *   
  
N3rds@reC0ol : I think I got this to work! Tell me the plan, guys.   
  
* BoyWonder has left the group chat *  
  
N3rds@reC0ol : Oh, that’s okay. I’ll catch up with you guys later!   
  
* * *   
  
Damian Wayne sighed, lowering his cell phone as he heard a soft whistling from above. He pocketed the small device in a secure panel in his utility belt, then hopped off of the gargoyle he had propped himself up on and landed a few feet below onto the hard concrete. He grinned as he walked next to searchlight that was currently illuminating the sky.   
  
“Second fastest man alive my butt.” Damian said with his arms crossed but his smile undiminished as the red and blue clad figure slowly floated down from the clouds above.   
  
“I came as soon as Dick called.” Superman replied sheepishly as he floated down, “I’m sorry about what happened.” Superman said earnestly as he touched down in front of Damian, who looked up at him unimpressed.   
  
“It’s alright. Just how this city is.” Damian replied with a sigh. He nodded towards the edge of the roof, “Dad is over there.” Superman nodded, stepping past Damian to a different part of the rooftop where Batman was crouched with a pair of binoculars. Superman looked past him, seeing that he was looking at the hotel that Lex Luthor was staying at.   
  
“Hi.” Batman said without turning around. Superman smiled, walking over and crouching next to Batman. He squinted at the hotel, looking through the walls and the obstructions.   
  
“He’s by himself. Working on some kind of weapon. Gun shaped. Probably radioactive.” Superman said to the man next to him. Batman grunted in response, lowering his binoculars.   
  
“Wonderful,” He began sarcastically, “Thanks.” He said sincerely as he turned to Clark.   
  
“You didn’t have to come.” Batman said.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“I don’t need your help.”   
  
“I know.”   
  
“I’m glad you’re here.” Batman finally said with a grunt as he stood up. Superman shrugged.   
  
“Whatever I can do.” He said as he followed closely behind. Batman walked past Damian, pulling out a small tablet that seemed to be connected to some sort of camera - given the image, it was probably a drone circling the city.   
  
“I’m sure there will be plenty when whatever happens, happens.” Batman said with a tired sigh. Clark frowned, looking between Batman and the hotel in the distance.   
  
“Well, I think we’d rather it didn’t happen at all.” Superman replied sternly. Damian grunted something in response, leaning against a nearby gargoyle and playing some sort of game on his phone. Batman turned to him.   
  
“Pretty much every villain in the city is going to be out all at once. Last time this sort of thing happened it didn’t end so well.” Batman replied.   
  
“He means the time he got his back broken.” Damian cut in. Superman nodded, holding out a hand to Batman.   
  
“You trust me?” Superman said. There was a pause, finally Batman shrugged and grabbed Superman’s hand.   
  
“Let’s try to talk him down,” Superman said as he lifted the two of them into the air and floated over towards the hotel.   
  
* * *   
  
O : Everyone is in place.   
  
L : Good, I’ll have the money wired to your account. What’s the latest on the Clown’s plans?  
  
O : As much as he could have a plan; I think he’s going to act very soon.   
  
Lex looked up from his phone as he heard the familiar *whoosh* sound as his window opened up. He narrowed his eyes, squeezing the off button on the side of his phone. Lex tried not to crack a smile as Superman gently set down the Batman, who was as melodramatic as always.   
  
“Breaking and entering is illegal, you know.” Lex said as he folded his arms. Batman smirked.   
  
“So is placing a hit on somebody, Luthor.” Batman replied.   
  
“I have no clue what you’re talking about, Bruce.” Lex said. Batman scowled and started towards him, but Superman put a calming hand on his shoulder.   
  
“Look, we just came to say we understand where you’re coming from. I’m very sorry about -”   
  
“Don’t say her name, alien.”   
  
“I’m sorry about your daughter. But killing the Joker won’t bring her back. You have to know that.” Superman said earnestly. Lex sighed, turning and sitting on a nearby chair.   
  
“I know that,” He said, “You know we were close to our tenth anniversary? I was going to take her to the space station. Pull some strings with STAR Labs. Let her see the world. I knew one day, she would own this little rock. She was always better than me.” Lex said, staring into space with a forlorn expression.   
  
“But if you think,” Lex began, standing up slowly, “That I will let that damn clown breathe for another  _second_ ,” Lex clenched his fists, “After what he did? Not just to my Emily, but to everyone’s children. All those people? Their blood is on your hands.” Lex pointed at Batman, who just shook his head.   
  
“I knew this would be pointless.” He said as he tried to head towards the window.   
  
“We’re the same, you know!” Lex yelled after him, “The fame, the money? It’s not enough. I know you crave control, you crave  _power_  just like me! At least I own up to it.” Batman shook his head, standing at the balcony edge while Superman nervously glanced back and forth between the two of them.   
  
“It’s never been about the power, Lex. That’s where you’re wrong. It’s about helping people. And not just for the publicity, either. I’ve seen how you rebuilt Metropolis. A city of aluminum and plastic, easily bent to your will. You’ve only created the facade of stability, of peace. You’ve shown me everything to avoid while I’ve been re-building the Narrows so that the  _people_  of Gotham can own it, and not be beholden to some little man in a tower - least of all me.”  
  
“That’s all you are. A little man, looking for validation. You can pretend like you give a shit, but in the end it’s all about you.” Batman said, turning and facing him more fiercely now, “And I promise you, if you don’t leave my city - I will put you in the hospital. I don’t care who you are, I’ll kick your ass as Bruce Wayne if I have to.” And with that, Batman pointed his grappling gun out the window and let it fly. Superman sighed, looking down before backing towards the balcony himself.   
  
“I had hoped we could work this out.” Superman said. Lex crossed his arms, looking up as Superman floated into the air.   
  
“I don’t negotiate with vigilantes!” He yelled after Superman as the latter flew away. His phone turned back on seconds later - him having pressed the on button when it looked like Superman was leaving. He glanced at the screen as multiple text messages came across quickly. He smiled, dialed a number and walked to his balcony.   
  
“Braniac? Deliver the package.”


	3. World's Finest

“Batman will stop you.” The frowny faced young cheerleader said as she glared at the Joker. She was currently one of hundreds in a line up at Gotham Stadium, an attempt to hold a city wide memorial for those lost in the most recent Joker attacks. Really, it was ironic. Maybe even funny. 

“Oh, I’m not worried about Batsy tonight, doll.” The Joker said as he paced past her with a machine gun, “Now quiet! I can’t hear myself not think in these conditions!” He snapped at her angrily. She silently wondered if it was even true what he had said - that the entire stadium was rigged to blow. The bombs he had brought looked real enough, but with the Joker you never truly knew. 

“Hey look!” Someone called out. Everyone looked up as something appeared in the air, coming closer by the second. Was it an airplane? A bomb, maybe? 

“Joker! You’re under arrest! Put the guns down, now!” A voice boomed over the stadium as Superman floated to a halt right above the stadium. The Joker laughed, pointing at the big blue guy. Harley started laughing along with him. 

“Can you believe this sucker!?” The Joker wheezed out. He gestured to the audience. 

“Why doesn’t someone tell him the odds.” He said. Someone sighed, before repeating what the Joker had said earlier - the stadium was rigged to blow if the stupid clown didn’t get his way. 

“He says the stadium’s rigged to blow. I can take him out now if you can draw his attention -” Superman began over the temporary comm system that Oracle had set up for the impromptu team that had gathered in Gotham City tonight. 

“Don’t bother. Knowing him, there’s either no bomb, or he’s got a least three switches to it. Might not even have them all on him - we’ll have to do this very carefully.” Batman responded, “There’s a basement sub-level, picking up some minor levels of radiation. Could be the bombs. Would you?” 

“On it.” Superman responded quickly as he darted away from the stadium and re-entered it from a different angle. The Joker nudged Harley with his elbow. 

“How about that, honey?” 

“Looks like you’re finally gettin’ the respect you deserve around here, puddin’!” Harley responded. They both turned to look towards the two ends of the stadium as smoke began to billow from the stands. 

“That wasn’t us.” Tweedledum said absentmindedly as he and his brother stared slack-jawed at the smoke which was quickly obscuring all vision. The Joker squinted in the distance, seeing flashes of purple and black quickly filing through the crowds. Harley grabbed the cheerleader, putting a gun to her head while the Joker held up the detonator. 

“I told you what would happen if you didn’t play by the rules!” The Joker threatened. Moments later, two cloaked figures seemed to swoop in from the darkness. The first, smaller one, hit Harley’s trigger finger with a batarang before dealing a vicious blow to her mid-section, knocking her away from the cheerleader. A woman in purple - Spoiler - grabbed the cheerleader and pulled her into the shadows while Robin went toe to toe with Harley Quinn. 

The other was, of course, the Batman himself. He knocked the detonator out of the Joker’s hand and delivered an uppercut to the clown’s stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. 

Meanwhile Spoiler turned a corner and very nearly bowled over a stunning redhead. She drew a baton as she quickly recognized Poison Ivy, who held up her hands innocently. 

“I really don’t have time for this, Ivy.” Stephanie said to the supervillain. 

“Woah! Can’t a gal just go on a walk?” Poison Ivy responded. 

“Sure! Exit’s thataway.” Stephanie motioned in the other direction. Poison Ivy frowned, crossing her arms. 

“You know why I’m here. I thought you’d be happy!” She responded. Stephanie was uncharacteristically silent for a moment. 

“Totally. But I’ve gotta stick with my fam.” Stephanie responded before lunging at Poison Ivy.

Back at the main fight, Batman punched the Joker in the chest, causing a multitude of objects to fall out of his purple coat. Included among the various Joke items were at least three identical copies of the detonator. The Joker lunged to the ground to try to grab one of them. 

“You idiot! Now I don’t know which one is the fake detonator!” The Joker yelled as Batman tried to grab him by the leg and pull him away. Nearby, Damian and Harley were still locked in mortal combat. 

“Are all the hostages out!?” Batman grunted over the comms. 

“We’ve got a few stragglers - looks like Steph and Cass are running into reinforcements?” Barbara responded quickly. 

“And the bombs?” Batman muttered as he blocked a slap from the Joker, only to be electrocuted on the arm where he had blocked it. His arm went numb, so he used his other one to sock the Joker right in the jaw. 

“Got the last one now!” Superman’s voice came over the comms moments before the Joker somehow managed to grab one of the detonators and push the button. There was an awkward silence for a moment as nothing happened - then the sky lit up as a huge fireball appeared over the stadium. 

* * *

It couldn’t have been timed more perfectly. Lex took a calming breath as he touched down right at the top of the stadium. He looked around, quickly taking his surroundings in and checking the status of all of his allies using his heads up display. He glared up in the sky with a smile as he saw Superman subsumed in the blast - he knew it wouldn’t do any damage to the man, but it would buy him some time. 

“I think that’s enough.” Lex said, his voice projecting through the stadium loudspeakers. On his command, fans around the stadium began to blow and push away the fog created by the Batman’s gadgets. Once that was gone, it was easy to see the few henchmen that the Joker had brought along were all knocked out on the ground. The stadium was empty, other than Harley, Damian, Batman, and the Joker. 

“You! Fancy pants prick! Think you can mess with me!?” The Joker said through bloodied teeth as he tried to get up from where the Batman had pinned him. 

“I warned you once, Luthor.” Batman threatened from across the stadium. Lex just chuckled. With a snap of his gloved fingers, a new set of stadium doors opened up to reveal quite a lineup : Poison Ivy, Two-Face, Black Mask, The Riddler, Mister Freeze, Scarecrow. 

“And I listened, so I brought some friends.” Lex said quickly - he knew his time was quickly running out. The Joker finally got up as Batman turned his attention to the cadre of villains before him. 

“You fools think you can take on me!? I’ll have you all skinned alive!” The Joker threatened, holding up an insanely large pistol that he somehow produced from his sleeve, “I run this town!” He shook his fist at them. 

“Surrender now and maybe my puddin’ will let this one slide!” Harley added, hands on her hips. The villains looked between each other, then back up at Luthor. Black Mask started to take a step forward - Lex held up his gauntleted hand. Seconds later, a quick burst of light flew from it and hit the villain squarely in the chest. He fell to the ground, clutching his heart and coughing up blood. 

“Anyone else having second thoughts?” Lex asked threateningly. The villains all shook their heads, gulping nervously. 

“Good! Now go for the clown!” Lex said, pointing at the foursome of Batman, Robin, Joker, and Harley. The villains charged and seconds later Superman barreled right into Luthor’s chest, crashing through the stadium wall and careening them somewhere into downtown Gotham. 

“I warned you, Lex!” Superman said as he stood at the edge of the crater he had just created by launching Lex (in his mech suit) across town. Lex just chuckled, slowly pulling himself up. 

“That was your mistake.” He said as he brought up his gauntlet and fired at the Man of Steel. Back in the stadium, the villains charged towards the unlikely team up on heroes and villains. 

“I’m sorry about this, babe. But it’s for your own good.” Poison Ivy said as she avoided a blow from Harley Quinn’s baseball bat and tried to use one of her vines to grab the talkative blonde. Unfortunately for her Harley slipped out of her grasp. 

“You’ve been a thorn in my side for too long, clown!” The Riddler yelled as he swung his cane at the Joker, who ducked beneath and slammed a crowbar into the Riddler’s side. Nearby, Damian was currently latched onto Two-Face’s back and punching the villain in the head. 

“Hold him still!” Mister Freeze growled as he stood a bit away from the group, aiming precariously at where The Riddler and the Joker were squaring up. 

“Wait - I can just shoot them both!” Freeze said with a blink as he pushed the button to fire at Riddler and Joker, who were wrestling on the ground. 

Batman looked aside from where he was currently going toe to toe with the Scarecrow, his pupils dilated from a quick spray of fear toxin. He still had the presence of mind to throw a batarang in Freeze’s direction, moments before Freeze could fire his weapon. His gun fell to the ground, a wild round freezing Poison Ivy’s legs and thus preventing her from dodging a blow to the head from Harley which knocked her out. 

“Sorry Pammie, but my guy comes first!” Harley said sincerely to the unconscious redhead. Nearby, Two-Face was knocked down as Damian tricked him into a wall. Past them, Scarecrow was rendered useless as Batman had him fairly effectively tied up. He stalked over to the Joker, physically pulling the Riddler off of him moments before the Joker could stab him in the stomach. He flung the Riddler back over to where Freeze was picking up his gun. 

“Ummm… truce?” The Riddler said nervously as he and Freeze looked at the foursome before them. The Joker took a menacing step towards the two, but Batman stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Get out of here. I’ll deal with you later.” Batman said. Damian muttered something obscene under his breathe, but nonetheless took up a defensive position next to Batman as the Joker and Harley made their great escape. 

“You think Lexie would’ve been smarter than this!” The Joker cackled as he and Harley sprinted out into the alleyway, “I mean, who sends their kid on a field trip to Gotham!?” He asked the important question. 

“I hope we have kids one day.” Harley said dreamily as she followed closely behind him. They were stopped in their tracks as they turned a corner. The Joker fell back on his ass from a swift punch to the jaw. 

“Hey!” Harley said as she swung at the attacker, who simply stepped away. The Joker chuckled as he slowly pulled himself up. 

“Lawton…” He chuckled, “Amateur night is next Thursday.” He said as he pulled himself up and reached into his jacket. 

“You sure you wanna test my aim, clown?” Floyd Lawton (AKA Deadshot) said as he cocked the gun he currently had pointed at the Joker. The Joker just cackled, raising his hands slightly and revealing a line running from his thumb to inside his jacket. 

“Nope! That’s why I brought grenades!” He cackled, “Now let’s just call this a wash, eh pal?” He said as he tried to back up. Lloyd just smiled, pulling the trigger. Harley knew Lloyd, though, and she knew that look on his face. That’s why she had just enough time to lunge. There wasn’t enough space or time to reach Deadshot, so she did the only thing she could - jump in front of the bullet. 

“Harley!” Deadshot yelled as the blonde went down from a bullet to the chest. He had barely had time to register the miss when the Joker swung a bat to his head, cracking his helmet. Deadshot tried to roll away, but the Joker put a boot to the man’s neck. 

“You almost ruined my suit!” The Joker growled at the downed assassin. He turned as he heard fighting in the distance - couldn’t risk the Bat catching up to him after all of this. He whirled, looking for a quick escape. Harley reached up for him, blood coming from the corner of her mouth. 

“Puddin’-” She coughed, but the Joker simply stepped over her and ran the other direction without a word. 

* * *

“You’re not going to win this, Lex! Stand down!” Superman said as he once again locked Lex’s battlesuit in a suplex. Lex pulled himself up, his suit creaking from the exertion of such a long fight with the Man of Steel. He grinned. 

“Of course not.” He said as his face flickered. Superman’s eyes widened in shock. 

“I planned on it.” He ‘said’ as his face flickered out of existence - revealing that the mech suit was being remote piloted. The suit raised a fist, delivering a punishing laser blow to the Man of Steel’s chest. 

* * *

The Joker had only made it a few more streets over when he was once again cold-clocked. He cursed, holding his nose as it bled profusely. 

“I’ve really gotta watch where I’m going.” He complained as he looked up at his latest attacker. 

“There won’t be a need for that anymore.” Lex said with a sly grin, arms crossed as he stood over the clown. The Joker grinned, pulling a knife from his waistband. 

“Ah, decided to handle this mano y mano, eh?!” The Joker cackled as he pulled himself up, “Gotta say, I’m impressed you’ve even got the cajones!” The Joker said as he tried to pounce at Lex. He didn’t make it far, as the muscled arms of Mercy wrapped around his waist from behind. With a quick twist the Joker was forced to drop his knife. 

“Hey! Holds are illegal!” The Joker complained as Mercy Graves held him a few feet off the ground. Lex shook his head, bending down and picking up the knife that the Joker had dropped. He walked slowly towards the clown. 

“You know, you’ve gotta do the monologue first - I mean it’s only fair -” The Joker tried to say more panickedly as Lex stood right in front of him and slowly pushed the knife into the Joker’s heart while the clown stared wide eyed at him. The Joker smiled, alternately laughing maniacally and coughing up blood as Lex Luthor twisted the knife. 

“No time for that.” He said simply. Moments later, he was thrown backwards as a gale force wind entered the alleyway - Superman knocked Mercy backwards a lot more roughly than he disposed of Lex. He turned to the businessman, still holding a bloody knife in his hands. 

“You’ve gone too far this time!” Superman said, looking down at the bleeding Joker in his hands. Lex just frowned, wiping a bit of blood from his face where the Joker had coughed on him. 

“Better get him to a hospital.” He said even as the Man of Steel rocketed into the sky with the Joker in tow. Mercy pulled herself out of some nearby rubble. Lex stood up as well, brushing off his suit. 

“Let’s get out of here, before -” He said, moments before he was roughly pushed up against a nearby wall. 

“Before I catch you?” Batman said angrily as he held the businessman against the wall. Mercy tried to make a move towards him, but three vigilantes dropped down between her and where Batman was holding Luthor - Damian, Stephanie, and Cassandra. 

“Not sure you want to try us tonight, honey.” Stephanie told the Amazon. Mercy looked at Luthor with a questioning look. With his eyes he motioned for her to leave. She reluctantly did, running off into the night. Lex was pulled off of the wall and he felt the familiar feel of plastic handcuffs being placed on his wrists. 

“You’re going away for a long time for this one!” Stephanie said as she and the other two fell in line behind the Batman as he pushed Lex through the alleyway. In the distance, he could see the lights of a police car - and Harvey Bullock leaning against it smoking a cigarette. Lex just smiled. 

“If you seriously think anyone will convict over the clown, you really must be as crazy as they say.”


	4. Sensation

**Luthor’s Revenge**   
**Part Four: Sensation!**

“I want to plead guilty.”

The man across the table’s jaw went a little slack. He was a nice enough fellow. He had even offered to work pro bono - he had been Harvey Dent’s roommate back in law school, so he understandably had a desire to see Lex acquitted. He was also flexible and very careful.

“I’m sorry, you what?” Victor Paige responded, slowly. Lex shrugged.

“I’ve paid you, haven’t I?” Lex asked. Victor sighed, pulling off his glasses and cleaning them.

“My job is to ensure you have a competent legal defense; and if you’re trying to bribe me -” Paige began defensively. Lex chuckled.

“Bribes are illegal, Mr. Paige. And so is sending your sister off to an orphanage.” Lex responded cooly. Paige’s face reddened almost immediately, but he smartly kept his mouth shut and his jaw set.

“You chose me specifically.” Paige said finally. Lex nodded, smiling. Paige looked down, scratching off various things that he had scribbled down before coming.

“I just have to ask - why?” Paige asked finally. Lex smiled.

“I’m sure you’re aware of my past before this - Superman and the media constantly breathing down my neck, accusing me of various crimes. There’s only so many times you can go through a mistrial before it starts to raise questions.” Lex paused, steepling his hands, “Besides - my hands will be a lot freer as a martyr than as a free man.”

* * *

“Mister Luthor, this might be one of the most clean cut cases I have ever seen conducted involving you.” The Central City judge said, staring down at Lex and Paige from his bench.

“I’m sure many of my colleagues over in Metropolis will be very jealous of what I get to do today. All of that aside, even with the evidence raised against you, the testimony from the witnesses has left me at a conundrum.” The judge paused, everyone in the room was listening closely for the verdict.

“While it has been proven that you indeed killed the Joker, by all accounts it cannot be ruled as a murder, given his past. And I am aware that the public opinion is heavily in your favor, hence this closed trial.” The judge continued.

“So, in accordance with the jury’s decision and your own decision to plead guilty, I sentence you to six months in Haven Security Village.” The judge said with a bang of his gavel.

* * *

Despite being a closed trial, word spread pretty quickly after that. Though it was no longer occupied, the Hall of Justice was seeing significant number of protests in front of it. In Gotham City, there were parades in the honor of Lex Luthor. Riots against the Batman, after footage was “anonymously” leaked showing him defending the Joker from certain death.

Things changed quickly in Gotham - crime went up in the short term, as the whole citizenry turned against the Batman, thus allowing more “normal” criminals to cover their own tracks. Even Batman had to start keeping a low profile.

“Where’s the body!?” Batman said as he twisted the arm of the head surgeon at Gotham Central and pushed them roughly against the wall.

“No clue!” The surgeon said through grit teeth, “Disappeared right from the morgue.” Commissioner Gordon sighed, leaning against a nearby desk and watching disinterestedly.

“And I’m sure the body transfer documentation and the camera feeds also just ‘disappeared’.” Gordon suggested. Despite the pain he was in, the doctor shrugged and grinned.

“Book me if you like. I’m sure the Wayne Fund for Joker Victims would be happy to cover my legal fees.” The surgeon replied. Gordon and Batman exchanged a look, with the former adopting a small wry smile.

“Don’t be so sure.” Gordon said, taking another drag. “We don’t want to arrest you, doctor. You’ve saved hundreds of lives here.”

“I would’ve saved more if you had put down that clown years -” The doctor started to mutter before the Batman pushed him harder against the wall. Gordon chuckled, despite an angry look from the Batman.

“All that aside, I’m sure you’re aware of the… shall we say unnatural things that happen. Both here and elsewhere in the world.” Gordon began, “Jesus, will you let up on him!?” He said angrily to Batman, who quickly let go of the surgeon.

“I should sue you!” The surgeon said to Batman with a glare.

“Good luck with that.” Batman responded dryly. Gordon coughed, regaining the doctor’s attention.

“So? Anything strange happen when Superman brought the body in?” Gordon asked. The doctor paused, catching his breathe from the rough-housing at the hands of the Batman. Finally he looked down and muttered something.

“What was that?” Gordon asked. The doctor looked up at him, a strange look in his eye.

“I said he came back from the dead.” The doctor said.

“You’re lying.” Batman said from his spot behind the doctor. The doctor simply shook his head.

“I’ve had plenty of people die on my table. Most of them victims of that damn clown. I tried my hardest not to save him.” The doctor sighed, looking down, “I know a dead man when I see ‘em. And the Joker was dead. No bones about it.”

Gordon and Batman looked at each other, worry apparent.

“He was dead - and then he came back from the dead.” The doctor said with a shrug, “I certainly wasn’t going to let that freak wake up in my operating room, so I kept him sedated until someone came to get him."

“Who?” The Batman asked, angrily. The doctor shrugged.

“Didn’t give a name, didn’t ask for one.” The doctor said, his arrogant smile coming back. Gordon sighed, getting up and leaving the room. Batman followed quickly after him.

“There’s gotta be another lead.” The Batman thought allowed as he matched Gordon’s stride. The Commissioner paused, turning to look at him angrily.

“That clown gets whatever is coming to him. If the government or some kind of black ops agency deciding to use him as their experimental lamb or sacrifice him to some death god, it’s no skin off my back!” Gordon said, turning and trying to leave.

“But the law -” Batman tried to say.

“But my _daughter_. But your _son_.” Gordon said simply, entering the elevator and leaving Batman behind, speechless.

* * *

“Howdy.” Mercy said simply as her boat was surrounded by a handful of apparently leather armored women, “I come in peace.” She continued, raising a hand and slowly setting down the laser pistol she had packed in her waistband. And the knife in her boot. And the spare grenades hidden under her seat.

“Long time no see.” The head women, a redheaded Amazon named Artemis said neutrally. Mercy kept eye contact with her as she slowly stepped off the boat, allowing the Amazons to circle her.

“Hippolyta banned you from ever returning.” Artemis said simply. Mercy chuckled at that.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m here to talk to Diana, not Hippolyta.” She said. Artemis and a few of the others exchanged some looks.

“Why not try the tower in the sky?” One Amazon asked. Mercy shrugged.

“I guess I like my privacy. Which Paradise Island has in spades.” Mercy replied coolly.

“We’re not a meeting room, you -” One of the Amazons began.

“Don’t bother.” Artemis cut the other woman off with a sigh as she lowered her spear, “I’ll go have Hippolyta call her.” She said, leaving Mercy on the beach with a handful of guards.

* * *

“My god…” Wonder Woman said quietly as Mercy escorted her into the top secret chamber. On their way there, they had entered an impressively large mountain and passed through several thousands of feet of rock and metal. Now they entered a comparatively small rotunda with a surprise in the middle.

“Indeed.” Mercy responded blandly as she and Diana stepped down to the central area. The main attraction, of course, was the tall glass cylinder in the middle.

“Hello darling!” The Joker cackled from within, coughing up blood on the glass. Mercy sighed, looking down and tapping a button on her wrist. Diana’s eyes widened as the inside of the glass was engulfed in impossible flame. Despite his insane demeanor, even the Joker screamed in pain as he was vaporized to ash.

“If you brought me here to arrest you, you’re making a very strong case.” Diana began to say. Mercy shrugged, motioning the ash pile in the center of the glass tube. As if carried on a wind, it swirled up, packing together like mud, and somehow molding back into the shape of the Clown Prince of Crime. The Joker slammed on the glass.

“I’ll get you for that! Mark my words, bi-” The Joker began to threaten, before the tube was once again engulfed in flames.

“Now you’re just enjoying yourself.” Diana commented. Mercy smiled.

“Perhaps. But it’s only enjoyable for so long, that’s why I brought you here.” Mercy replied. Diana gave her a motherly look in return. The Joker reformed in the tube behind them, but found that his voice was muted and never reached their ears.

“You’d like me to bring him to jail where he belongs?” Diana asked, hopefully. Mercy just looked at her.

“And that’s worked so well before. How many times has he broken out of Arkham?” She shot back.

“We could inter him on Themiscrya.” Diana offered, glaring at the demonic clown who was currently screaming inside his glass tube. Mercy shook her head, keeping her arms folded.

“Beyond the horrifying prospect of him escaping and hurting our sisters, there’s another big reason you’re forgetting - the Bat.” Mercy said. Diana frowned.

“I hope you don’t think you can play us against each other.” Diana responded. Mercy shook her head again.

“Not at all. You will do what you must. I need your help, all the same. This is a magical problem -” Mercy began.

“Clearly.” Diana interjected with a nod.

“And I’m afraid that whatever bargain he made might be too much for the few sorcerer friends I know.” Mercy concluded. Diana was quiet for a moment, staring at the glass tube containing the apparently unkillable most hated man in the world.

She sighed, reaching into her waistband and pulling out a small wallet. She flipped through quickly until she found what she was looking for. Diana produced a card, handing it over to Mercy quickly.

“I’ll give you 24 hours head start.” Diana said with a frown. Mercy looked at the card, simply emblazoned Hellblazer. She grinned.

“How about 72?” Mercy replied.

“48 hours.” Diana concluded firmly.

* * *

“So the best he could find was she was blonde?” Damian asked incredulously as he and Dick Grayson sat comfortably on the edge of one of the many impossibly tall buildings in Gotham City. Dick shrugged.

“Makes sense, though. Who else would want the Clown’s body?” Dick asked.

“Hmmm, a death cult, Luthor, any of the hundreds of other people Joker’s pissed off, the U.S. government…” Damian trailed off, “You think we should help?” He asked, gesturing to the warehouse below, mostly dark except for the intermittent flash of gunfire. Dick shrugged.

“Nah. He needs to work through some stuff.” Dick said simply. Damian nodded, slowly.

“He has been… irritable lately.” Damian admitted. Dick smiled, clapping a hand on Damian’s back.

“Don’t worry about it, kid. He’ll get over it. Now lets go get some ice cream.”

* * *

“Where is she!?” Batman demanded as he held the last guard standing over a fairly large ledge. The man, face plastered in white makeup, just cackled.

“Momma’s out tonight. Guess you’ll just have to deal with me. Too bad about yer code; nobody’s scared of you anymore!” The man said. The Batman looked past him at the thirty or so similarly dressed Jokerz, all in various states of unconsciousness. He had been a bit more brutal than usual - some would certainly need extended stays at a hospital.

“They seemed pretty scared.” Batman replied with his rarely used dark sense of humor.

“‘Sides, fall from this height won’t even kill me. You’ve got nothing, Batsy!” The man yelled at him, spittle flying between the two.

“I’m counting on it.” Batman said with a grin as he dropped the man the equivalent of two stories. There was sickening crunch below as the man landed and his legs snapped underneath him. The man gave out a loud cry of pain, which soon turned to whimpering as the Batman flew down and walked up to him. Batman picked him up by the collar.

“There are 206 bones in the body, Mr. Dawson. Do you really want to find out how many of them you don’t need?” Batman said threateningly to the whimpering Mr. Dawson.

“Fine! I’ll talk! I’ll talk!” The man said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

“Good.” Batman said, letting the man drop without fanfare. Mr. Dawson groaned as he landed on his broken legs, crying a little bit.

“She…” Dawson tried to catch his breath, “She ain’t been around. Not since it happened, y’know-” Dawson wheezed, whiping a tear from his eye.

“We been tryna reach out to her, what with you and the other gangs comin’ down round us. Word is she’s holing up with that plant lady, but we haven’t been able to get through to her.” Mr. Dawson said, as Batman was already turning to leave.

“We can help each other, y’know!” Dawson yelled after him, “I’d kill that traitor bitch myself if I could!” But Batman didn’t respond, simply slamming the door behind him. Before he could even think about crawling for an escape, Dawson saw the disheartening mix of blue and red lights outside the window, signaling that the police had arrived.


	5. Hellblazer

**Luthor’s Revenge  
Part Five : Hellblazer?**

“I knew you’d come ‘round eventua-” Constantine said as he stepped out of his portal into Mercy Graves’s lab. He looked around, scratching his head.

“You ain’t Wonder Woman.” He said. Mercy just chuckled from her spot leaning against a nearby table.

“Clearly not. But she gave me your card. Said you could help me with a problem.” Mercy replied. John just smirked.

“Well, villains is more of Batsy’s thing, I prefer nice -” Constantine began before Mercy grabbed him by the shoulders and forcibly turned him around.

“Well that ain’t my type, either!” Constantine protested as he was forced face to face with the Joker, drooling in his tube after days of no food or water.

“I’ve got a real demon problem here.” Mercy said simply. Constantine was quiet, gathering himself. He brushed off his jacket, staring between the Joker, Mercy Graves, and the card in her hand that he had definitely given to Wonder Woman last time he hung with the Justice League.

“There’d be some caveats, seein’ as you’re not exactly the trustworthy type. ‘Specially your boss.” Constantine began calmly. Mercy shrugged.

“Fair enough. Name your price.” Mercy replied. Constantine just grinned in response.

“You mightn’t like it, doll.”

* * *

“Surprised you remember where this place was.” Ivy said as she leaned against the wall of her porch, watching Batman jump out of his car and walking with a purpose up the steps.

“Long time no see, is all I’m sayin’.” She said as she calmly sipped from the mug of tea she was holding. Batman just glared at her, sniffing something in the air and walking past her.

“Hey!” She went after him, “You need a warrant!” She tried in vain to protest, as Batman followed the strange smell across the generous flat the occupied the bottom level of Poison Ivy’s four story green house. As he came closer to the source, he began to hear music as well.

What was that smell? He was nearly on the door when he was able to place it - blueberry pie. And the music? An old rockabilly tune from the 1950s. With a gentle push he swung open the door.

“Ivy, honey.” Harley said scoldingly. Batman turned his head slightly as Poison Ivy stopped in her tracks behind him, holding a large familiar bat over his head. Harley was a sight, very different from how Batman was used to seeing her.

The garish white makeup and black eyeliner was completely gone, along with the black and red leather suit that he was accustomed to seeing her in. No; Harley Quinn was painting in the middle of the kitchen, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, her blonde hair up in a loose ponytail. There was two glasses of wine next to her and nearby the oven radiated heat as it cooked the pie inside of it.

“We have a guest, unfortunately.” Ivy said as she stalked past Batman to take the empty seat next to Harley. The blonde took a moment to finish her painting, before finally spinning in her seat to look at Batman over the edge of her glasses.

“You’re recovering well, it seems.” Batman said simply. Harley shrugged. There was an awkward silence.

“And we’ve been good, too. Perfect little citizens.” Ivy cut in after a moment. Batman just stared at Harley, trying to read her. Given the way she was looking back at him, she was doing the same.

“Was it a childhood trauma?” Harley finally asked. Batman blinked for a second.

“We’re not here for a therapy session; I need information.” Batman began, “It’s about the Joker.” He said. The sentence was punctuated by the sound of glass breaking as Harley dropped her wine on the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She said, turning to Ivy. Ivy just caressed her for a moment, “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” She said the last part with a glare in the Batman’s direction. Harley sighed, taking off her glasses and cleaning them. She gave Batman a very serious look.

“I’m afraid I’m out of the loop, Batsy. All my old haunts are filled up with new kids on the block, so I hear.” Harley trailed off, “But I’m guessing that’s who sent you here. So if you’re not looking for old caches of weaponry, then that means there must be somethin’ involving Mista -” She paused, and Batman noticed her clench her fist slightly, “something involving Jack.” She forced out, referring to the Joker by his legal name.

Batman nodded slowly. She seemed good - great, even. And that seemed to extend past her, to Ivy. The streets had been packed with new and old criminals, but there had been a noticeable lack of plant or clown themed attacks. If the Joker was out there, he needed to be brought to justice - and he would just be more dangerous if Harley came back to his side.

“Mhm.” Batman grunted, “Got word from the morgue that the body had been switched out. By a blonde girl.” Batman said, letting the implication hang in the air for a moment. Even Ivy cast a surprised glance in Harley’s direction; for her part, the blonde seemed cooler than ever.

“I was in surgery for a week after what I did for Jack.” Harley said, her tone deliberately monotone, “Ivy was there the whole time. An’ I know you don’t exactly trust her either, so you can also check the cameras.” She paused.

“Although if you’re askin’, must be that the cameras got taken out. So ask the doctor, an’ his nurses. No way they could all be dirty, if that’s what you’re thinkin’.” Harley explained, finally returning the glasses to her face. Batman grunted - she made a good point.

“That’s good enough to go on.” Batman said, turning to leave. Ivy stood up, following him out of the room. For her part, Harley already seemed over him - he had barely exited the room when the music came back on and his keen sense of hearing picked up another wine glass being filled up.

“You shouldn’t have done that. She’s just now started to get over him. Now she’ll be upset for weeks.” Poison Ivy chided Batman as she following through the house, the porch, and up to his car.

“She seemed pretty fine in there.” Batman said nonchalantly as he climbed into the Batmobile.

“Yeah, because she’s tough.” Poison Ivy shot back defensively. Batman looked up at her, a small smile on his face.

“You love her.” He said. Not as a question - a statement. Poison Ivy frowned, brushing some hair out of her face.

“So!?” She asked. Batman shrugged.

“Well you’d like to keep her safe, out of trouble. That’s not going to happen while the Clown is out there. We both know that. So if you could just give me something, anything to go on…” Batman trailed off. Ivy shrugged, frowning and crossing her arms.

“And you’ll get the hell out of here?” She asked. Batman gestured with his hand. Finally, Ivy sighed.

“My guess? Luthor’s bodyguard. She was blonde, about Harley’s height. Hell of a lot more muscles, though. What would she want with the clown’s body, though?” Ivy asked.

“That’s what I’m scared to find out.” Batman said with a scowl as he brought down the hatch over his head and sped off into the night.

“Asshole!” Ivy yelled after him, flipping him the bird as he left her street.

* * *

“You’ve been busy.” Superman said simply as he stood in front of Lex’s cell. The bald man within just chuckled, not even looking up from the typewriter that he was busily chugging along on.

“Did you just come to ask me stupid questions?” Lex asked, finally pausing with his writing as a satisfying *ding* marked the end of the page he was working on.

“‘If I Did It’...” Superman said, squinting to read the title of the largish manuscript that occupied Luthor’s desk. Lex spun in his chair, producing a coffee mug and taking a long drink from it. He had a five ‘o clock shadow, like he hadn’t been keeping up with his hygeine.

“Someone’s got to tell the world how the Justice League protected a man who murdered a bus full of children - including my own.” Lex said with a shrug. Superman scowled at him, walking up to the bars.

“You’re using your own daughter as a public relations ploy?” Superman scoffed, “You’ve sunk even lower than I thought.” Lex just chuckled.

“On the contrary, I’ve become a better man. You don’t think I could’ve turned this typewriter into a bomb? I’m serving out my sentence. And I’m here because of you and the Bat.” Lex said, standing up from his chair and walking over to Superman.

“Look, I don’t have time for another of your self righteous lectures.” Superman shot back angrily, “I’m looking for your bodyguard.” Lex just crossed his arms, looking at Superman.

“Why on Earth would I help you?” Lex asked.

“Because she might be in danger.”

* * *

“Just like this?” Mercy asked as she threw the final large boulder into the spot that Constantine had marked. The blonde haired Brit nodded, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out.

“If I’d known you would submit to a no harm spell just to kill the Joker, I’d’a offered my services years ago.” Constantine said as he walked up to Mercy, who simply stood with her arms crossed.

“Yeah, don’t think too hard about it.” She said.

“Oh, I know you’re probably already thinkin’ a’ ways out of it. Hell, that’s what I’d do. And that’s why you’ll never break it.” Constantine said as he produced a vial out of his coat and began spreading bits of colored ash on the ground.

Mercy was done with the conversation, however - she had already moved back to the jet and pulled the tube down the ramp, wheeling the Joker unceremoniously to the center of the circle.

“You sure this’ll work?” She asked cautiously. John nodded, too focused on preparing for his spell to say anything. Mercy twisted a large, heavy lever on the tube, dropping the Joker on his face onto the ground. She produced a large plasma rifle that had been slung on her back.

“Ash doesn’t travel very far, clown.” She said with a wry grin as the Joker just glared up at her. He already knew she wouldn’t be negotiated with, so he turned his gaze to Constantine.

“Hey now, can’t we work something out -” The Joker began, but with a flourish of his hand Constantine removed his voice.

“Best spell you’ve done all day.” Mercy muttered.

“If you think that one’s good, hold onto yer hat for this one.” Constantine said as he slammed shut a large tome, returning it to inside his coat - where it seemed to simply disappear.

Mercy sighed, simply focusing on keeping her gun pointed at the pouty faced Joker as Constantine spoke his strange spell across the circle. The colored ash seemed the glow, turning into a bit of a light show. The air seemed dense, and bits of rock and dirt began floating next to Constantine, whose eyes were now a shiny white.

She was sure if the skies above hadn’t already been densely packed with rain clouds, they would’ve done so anyways as a side effect of his spell. Mercy very nearly pulled the trigger when the Joker tried to lunge away - but he fell backwards, impacting an invisible wall.

“No gettin’ out of hell free cards today!” Constantine boasted, “Cause I already stole ‘em all.” He muttered. The ground under the Joker opened, but he didn’t fall, instead being able to look down an impossibly long dirt tunnel that seemed to lead directly to a sea of lava.

“Constantine…” A voice seemed to hiss from somewhere in the air. Mercy looked around, but she couldn’t see anything. Given how Constantine was staring at a spot slightly above the Joker, who himself seemed to be sweating profusely, she imagined it must be some sort of hell creature she couldn’t see. Mercy still kept her gun to bear.

“Long time no see. You still mad about last time?” Constantine replied with a chuckle.

“You’re reckoning will come soon enough, Hellblazer. Now why did you summon me.” The creature responded. Constantine gestured towards the Joker, who was now fairly helpless.

“Well obviously for this piece ‘o shit here. I understand you two have a deal yourselves.” Constantine continued. There was a silence. Constantine scratched his head, smiling slightly.

“So, uh, silence is consent right? Now look, I -” Constantine began.

“None of your business!” The creature spat back at him. Constantine shrugged.

“It would cost you one soul to remove this agent of mine from your plane. As I understand you’ve already sold yours - twice.” The creature responded while John looked on sheepishly.

“Well, I’m sure I can cook up somethin’ you’d like.” John said as he dramatically searched inside his coat for something.

“Wait!” A voice called out from above. Lightning flashed, allowing Mercy to see the familiar silhouette of Superman - and he was carrying Luthor. She trained her gun on him.

“Don’t think I wasn’t ready for you, Blue!” She called out to him.

“Hold your fire, Mercy!” The familiar voice of Lex called out from right next to Superman. The duo landed just outside of the circle, with Superman setting Lex down gently.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Superman asked angrily of Constantine, who just shrugged innocently.

“He’s doing a job!” Mercy said angrily as she turned her plasma rifle in Constantine’s direction.

“That’s cute.” He said, winking at her. Mercy scowled back at him. Lex held up his hands.

“Now, we can talk this out.” Lex began. As if stuck in an awkward situation, the demon that had been floating above the Joker finally made itself visible. It stretched a wrinkly finger in the direction of Superman.

“I will take his soul, for the clown to receive his eternal torment.” The demon said ominously. Things moved quickly, then. Lex and Mercy made eye contact, with the latter turning his gun quickly in Superman’s direction and firing directly at his chest. For his part, Constantine was no slouch, throwing a bit of powder out of his jacket pocket and somehow deflecting the bolt from hitting Superman.

For his part, the Man of Steel rocketed around the magical circle, quickly snapping Mercy’s weapon in two and knocking her to the ground.

“This is over.” Superman said as he tossed the two pieces of her former weapon to the side.

“You’re damn right.” Lex’s voice called out from behind them. Superman spun around, watching in horror as Constantine coughed up blood, his hands pawing at the red slit on his throat where Lex had cut him.

“This will do, right?” Lex said as he stared up at the demon, who reached out of the circle to grab the wide eyed Constantine by the throat. Superman found himself utterly unable to enter the circle as Constantine’s increasingly pale form was dragged right in with the Joker.

“You bastard!” Superman turned around, tears streaming from his glowing red eyes as he stared down Luthor, who had already dropped his knife and was wiping his extremely bloody hands on his prison suit. He didn’t get the chance to do anything, though - as he fell to the ground unconscious.

“Impressive.” Lex said, looking at the Kryptonite dart embedded in Superman’s back. Mercy smirked, crossing the circle holding the tiny gun that she had pulled out of her waistband.

“Always prepared.” Mercy said with a grin as she stood next to Lex and watched the Joker silently scream as he was dragged into the depths of hell along with Constantine. The demon was just about to close the ‘gate’ that had opened when Lex cleared his throat.

“Um, sir.” He said uncertainly, “Would you be able to check on a soul for me?” The demon paused, turning it’s frightening yellow eyed gaze directly at Luthor.

“You’re uncomfortable with magic,” The demon stated the obvious, “But Constantine’s soul is a prize above all others.” The demon debated itself. Finally it sighed.

“I can do this one thing for you.” The demon responded. Lex sighed, clearing his throat.

“Can you check on Emily Luthor?” He asked, suddenly very vulnerable. The demon shook it’s head, disgusted at this display of human emotion. However, it’s eyes rolled into the back of it’s head, as it apparently searched the astral planes.

“Emily… She is with the One Above All.” The demon said, it’s eyes returning to the proper spot.

“Who?” Mercy asked in confusion, but the demon wasn’t listening, already crawling back into the ground and zipping up the Earth like a jacket. She dove after it, but by the time she landed it was just regular ground. Mercy only spent a moment aimlessly digging, but found that the demon had gone back to wherever it had come from.

“It’s okay.” Lex said, placing a calming hand on Mercy’s shoulder. The blonde turned to look up at him, tears in her eyes as well.

“She’s safe now.” Lex allowed himself to gently hug his bodyguard, “I know what she meant to you.”

They embraced for quite a few moments, before finally gathering their trademark composure back.

“What should we do with him?” Mercy gestured towards the unconscious Superman while wiping her face. Lex grinned.

“Nothing, that’s the best part. You’ll take me back to my cell. I left behind a hologram so I have an alibi for this. If he comes after me, he’ll be coming after the hero who killed the Joker.” Lex replied confidently. Mercy smiled, motioning towards the nearby jet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand that's the end of the main story! Leaving one chapter slot open for a sort of epilogue. Hope you enjoyed, though! I know I found it very cathartic. :)


	6. Epilogue

> **Luthor’s Revenge  
>  Epilogue**
> 
> “In other news, the self-titled New Justice League has recently fallen apart due to the United Nations rejecting their charter. This is the first attempt to revive the League, since its dissolution a year ago following the death of the Jo-” There was a click as the radio shut off.
> 
> “I told you to turn that off.” Ivy chided the wide eyed secretary.
> 
> “No Pammie, what did I tell you?” A cheery voice cut in from around the corner. Ivy stood up, grinning from ear to ear as a familiar blonde number rounded the corner of the incredibly drab hallway.
> 
> “You may own the place, but I’m the boss. Capiche?” Harley said with a grin as Ivy rushed across the room and wrapped her in a large bear hug.
> 
> “Whatever you say, my love.” Ivy said dreamily as she kissed Harley on the lips. The blonde grinned widely when her Ivy pulled back.
> 
> “Love you too, but what’s the big deal? It’s only been a few hours.” Harley replied.
> 
> “Oh, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that -” Pamela said as she wrapped an arm around Harley’s waist and tried to lead her out the front door. Harley paused, forcing Pamela to stand still as well. She turned to the secretary, an intern fresh from Metropolis University. She was already chewing gum and working on a crossword.
> 
> “Katherine, darling -” Harley said, causing the intern to look up from what she was doing, “Dent’s been a little cranky today, make sure you take Jim and Jerry with you when you give him his pills. Nygma told me he’d be here around six to pick up his medication, and -”
> 
> “And make sure Victor gets his ice cream. I’ve got it, Dr. Quinn.” Katherine said with a smile. Sufficiently satisfied, Harley nodded and walked out the door with Ivy on her arm. They exited the pristine new Arkham Asylum, Pamela grabbing for her umbrella as the dark storm clouds began to unleash a pleasant rain.
> 
> “Don’t, I like it.” Harley said quietly as she grabbed Pamela’s wrist, preventing her from covering them with the umbrella. Pamela smiled, laying a head on Harley’s shoulder as the couple made their way to their one car. It had cost quite a sum, but with the money from Pamela’s agricultural business they had been able to afford a fully electric car.
> 
> “Which is why you should stay home tonight, we could watch a movie, snuggle under the blankets…” Pamela promised enticingly. Harley sighed, strapping into the driver’s seat.
> 
> “I know, but I’ve gotta get more funding for the Asylum, which means I gotta hobnob with those goons up-town.” Harley said with a tired sigh. Ivy grabbed her hand gently.
> 
> “Well, Mayor Gordon’s pretty nice. Grew up on the streets like you and me.” Ivy said, trying to cheer her up. Harley nodded, her smile coming back.
> 
> “Yep, won’t be too cheery when I’m trying to take the funding from his police department, though.” Harley replied as their car was speeding away from the Asylum, which was situated in an unpopulated plains area just outside of Gotham. The rain beat kindly on their windshield as the lights of the city already poked above the horizon.
> 
> “Ah, they don’t need it anymore. You’ve got half the criminals in this town reformed.” Pamela said, kissing the grinning Harley on the cheek.
> 
> “Let’s just hope Mr. Wayne sees it that way. It’s his money I’m asking for.” Harley said seriously now. The two women looked up as they entered the city, seeing a yellow suited man sitting on the edge of a large tacky sign that was advertising yet another LuthorCorp space cruise. 
> 
> “He looks bored.” Pamela said as the duo smiled and waved at the vigilante sitting on the rooftop. Harley chuckled, squeezing Pamela’s hand.
> 
> “Everything’s going to be alright. Maybe I’ll even get done early, take you up on those snuggles.”  
>  _  
> FIN_
> 
>  


End file.
